How did this happen?
by Sophy Caps
Summary: Owen finds Amelia injured and barely responsive in her apartment. What has happened to her seems quite mysterieous. Can they save Amelia?
1. Knocking

Amelia was leaning against the bathroom wall, sitting on the tiled floor. She knew something really wasn't okay, but she couldn't really piece together what it was. Her thought's where too blurry, it felt as if she couldn't grasp onto any of them properly. Either way, her mind was consumed by the extreme feeling of nausea she was feeling. She knew it was only a matter of moments until she would vomit again as she had been doing for the past few hours in between lying on the bathroom floor, confused to what was going on.

All of the sudden she heard a knock at her apartment door and a familiar voice coming from the other side. She knew that she knew the voice but for some reason she couldn't figure out whom it beloged to.

It took her a second to realise that a knock at the door meant that there was someone outside. That she should open the door. Because there was someone there. On the otherside of that door.

She stuggeled to stand up, feeling dizzy with every move. She tried to hold on to things while trembeling towards her apartment door, the person on the otherside knocking again. "Amelia it's me!" The voice said in a rather lighthearted tone. She felt terrible showing herself in this kind of condition. Even though she couldn't really understand what was going on, she did understand that she had to be looking quite terrible. She didn't want to be seen like this. All sweaty and tired.

As she got to the door she had to hold on to the doorknob before twisting it because another wave of dizziness was overcoming her. She opened the door. Infront of her stood Owen. In the first instant he was smiling, then he looked at her and his face turned to an expression of shock and fear.

 **Editors Note: This story will jump between different peoples' POV. Here you had Amelia.**

 **I hope you enjoyed reading it :)**


	2. Arrival

As Owen parked his car infront of the apartment complex he smiled. He grabbed the bag of waffels he'd picked up on hos way for the two of them. Her favourite waffels.

He entered the building, quickly walking up the stairs, anticipating the breakfast they where gonna have.

When he got to her apartment door he knocked twice, just as he always did. At first no one answered. Had she forgotten about their breakfast plans? He checked the name on the door: _A. Shepherd._ He knocked again. "Amelia it's me!" He called through the door as he heard a noise inside.

The door moved a bit, not opening yet, almost as if somone was leaning against it from the inside. Then he heard the doorknow turn and the dooropened.

For a second he smiled. He was just abou to say something along the lines of "Look I brought your favourite waffels." when he saw Amelia and his face turned to shock and disbelief.

She was standing there, clutching the door frame, her hair messy and pearls of sweat on her forehead. It seemed as if her eyes tried to focus on him put they couldn't.

"Amelia…!" Was the only thing he could say while rushing towards her, trying to support her as she clearly had a hard time standing on her own.

"Amelia what happend to you?" He asked shocked, trying to look into her eyes.

"I… this… Ow…" she mumbled taking a shallow breath and trying again "Owen… I… no… sorry… me…" her speech was unorganised and severely slurred.

"Amelia! What happed to you?!" He asked again, trying to make sense of the situation.

"…this…" she slurred before she turned to the side and bend over, throwing up on the floor next to them.

Owen, still in complete shock, tried to hold her, trying to keep her hair back. When he stroked her hair away from her face, he felt something sticky all of the sudden. He pulled his hand back to look at it. It was blood and not just a little.

"Amelia…" he gasped. Before he could think about it anymore, he could feel how Amelia stared to collapsed in his arms, pulling them both to the floor.

"Amelia?! Hey! Amelia can you hear me?…Amelia?!" He asked alarmed, trying to get a reaction from her. He had done this countless times with patients but this was different. As calm and collected as he normaly was, he was unable to collect himself in this moment.

"Amelia?! Please! Can you talk to me?!… Hey! Can you hear me?… Amelia… please!" He asked, tears forming in his eyes as he tried to roll her on her side so she wouldn't choke on her own vomit.

 _What could have happened to her? Why hadn't she called him? How long had she been like this? Could he have prevented this if he had just gotten there earlier?_ No. He couldn't be doing this right now he told himself. He reached for his phone, with shaky hands dialing 911.

As soon soon as the abulance had arrived, they had gotten the barely conscious Amelia on gurney and had wheeled her into the ambulace. Owen got in the ambulance with them, holding her hand during the ride. Since Amelia wasn't able to answer any questions, the paramedics tried to get some information from Owen, but the only thing he was able to tell them, was what happend what when he got to the apartment. It killed him that he didn't know anything. How did this happen? Or even: What happend? He didn't know and it made him feel guilty, as if he wasn't doing a good enough job. He felt a slight relieve when they started to pull up to Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, but he also was painfully aware of Amelia's critical condition.


	3. Trauma

"Incoming trauma. Possible head injury." the nurse at the ER desk said to her. Meredith had done this many times. It was a routine day and she was on duty in the ER.

"Has anyone seen Hunt?" She asked.

"He's not here but he's on call." The nurse answered, looking at the computer screen infront of her.

"Okay, page Hunt and Shepherd. It's a possible Head injury so I might need her." Meredith said as she walked towards the ER doors. She heard the Ambulance pull up. _Where was Amelia?_ Meredith asked herself as she haden't seen her today. Infact, she hadn't heard from her since last night when they parted ways in the parking lot, both heading home.

The Ambulace pulled up.

"What do we have?" Meredith asked as one of the Paramedics opened the doors of the Ambulance.

"Female patient, with head trauma and possible intra cranial bleed. She's barely conscious or responsive." The Paramedic said.

What Meredith saw next shocked her.

"Owen?! What's going on?" She said in disbelief.

His face was paler than usual and his eyes where red as if he had been crying.

He didn't answer. It was only now, that Meredith noticed the person on the gurney.

"Owen! What happened?!" She asked more forcefully.

"I… I don't know" he stumbled "I came to her apartment and she was like this. Please Meredith! You have to do something! I can't loose her!"

For a second she looked at him with deep concern, then she switched back into doctor mode. She was the one that stayed calm even in the most incomprehensible situations. She had always been.

"Okay come on, let's get her inside." She said, pushing the gurney towards the entrance of the ER.

"Has she taken anything?" She asked Owen with a look of concern on her face.

"What?" He asked as if the question had caught him off guard.

"Owen has she taken pills? Has she been drinking? Did she relapse?" Meredith asked, looking straight at him.

"I… I don't know…" he said. From the looks of it he hadn't thought about this as a possible cause for her condition.

"Ok anyway… we have to get her to a trauma room. Her head's bleeding pretty badly and her breathing is too shallow." Meredith stated as she pushed the gurney into a trauma room.

"Please! You can't loose her!" Owen shouted, holding on to Meredith's arm.

She looked him straight in the eye "We'll do everything that we can, but I need to be in there to help her." She said, pulling free from Owen's grip and quickly entering the trauma room, leaving Owen infront of the doors.


	4. Lost

She didn't understand what was going on. Too much was happening.

It was too loud, it was to bright. She couldn't comprehend her surroundings. Amelia couldn't understand what was going on around her.

What she could understand, though, was that she was scared. She was really really scared.

Was she in a car? Were there people there? She couldn't make sense of anything.

She felt strong pain radiating from her head, but even that she couldn't really understand.

She was slipping in and out of consciousness.

There where people standing over her. Maybe.

There was something on her face. An oxygen mask? Maybe.

There was someone there. Or was there? Maybe.

She was being moved. She understood that, but she couldn't make out where to. Nothing made sense. Her thoughts where so blurred.

All of the sudden she was moved stronger, making her dizziness worse.

It got loud. Then it got more quiet.

So many people. Or where there? Maybe.

Everything was overwhelming her.

All of the sudden a bright light, a face. The bright light hurt her eyes. The person was saying something, but she couldn't understand. The light was moving but she couldn't comprehend what was happening.

She wanted to yell out for help, but the only thing coming out of Amelia's mouth was a slurred mumble. Then she slipped out of consciousness again.

 **Editors note: I know this one was a little short but I'll try to post another one ASAP. Please be aware that neither english is my first language nor am I a medical professional, so feel free to correct me on any mistakes I am making. :)**

 **I would really appreciate some reviews to find out what you think.**


	5. Waiting

_How could this have happend?_ He asked himself. Again and again. He hadn't stopped asking this question to himself since he had found her.

Owen was pacing up and down the waiting room.

He couldn't make sense of this whole situation. _She couldn't have relapsed, right? She wouldn't take pills. Or drink. Why should she, right? But what if she had? Had she overdosed? Was that why she was in such terrible shape? What if she had taken pills AND drank? Could that have caused her to fall and hit her head?_ He didn't know.

All of the sudden a new thought had come to his head.

 _Had she overdosed on purpose?_ He had last sceen her yesterday. They had only talked breifly, scheduling their breakfast plans for today. _She had seemed kind of down, hadn't she? She had just lost a patient right? A kid. A kid for gods sake._ He knew that that always took a toll on her. It took a toll on anyone, but on Amelia especially it seemed.

 _Why hadn't he checked on her? Why hadn't he called her after work to see how she was doing?_

He couldn't do this. He couldn't loose her. Owen knew that if he did, he'd blame himself for the rest of his life. He sat down on one of the chairs, his face burried in his hands, tears starting to flow down his face.

 _Why hadn't he been there earlier? If he had been, she wouldn't be in such bad shape right now, right?_

His thoughts where interrupted by a movement in the corner of his eye. He jumped up.

"How is she?" Owen asked, his voice shaky, his words laced with pain and fear.

"We are still operating" Meredith said "She has a severe intercranial bleed but they are working on it."

Owen was speechless. _How could this have happened?_

"Did she…" he stumbled, not being able to bring himself to say it out loud. His voice was breaking, tears flowing from his eyes. "Did she do this?" He asked.

"What?" Meredith asked confused.

"Did she take drugs? Is… is that why?" He asked between clenched teeth, trying not to break down entirely.

 _I did this. I wasn't there. I should have been there._

"What? No. No!" Meredith answered, somewhat caught off guard "the tox-screen came back negative. She hasn't taken anything" she said "and don't worry, we didn't give her any Opioids so far." She added.

Owen breathed out deeply in relief.

 _So she hadn't done this. Still, had he just been there earlier._

Owen" Meredith said "I need to get back there." She looked at him with concern "Can I leave you here?"

He just stared at the wall

"Owen? Look at me! Are you ok? Can I leave you alone?" She asked, trying to make eye contact.

He took a deep breath. "Sure… please…" he whined "you can't loose her!"

"We're doing our very best" Meredith said calmly before looking at the clock across the room "Damit! I'm so sorry, I really need to get back!" She said, leaving the room quickly.

Owen was alone again. He sat down again, elbows on his knees, his face in his hands.

 _She didn't… she didn't do this. But what happend? Why wasn't I there? Why wasn't I there for her? Why didn't I do more?_


	6. Out

_How did this happen?_

The question wouldn't leave her mind as she was standing there, leaning against the counter, looking through the door of Amelia's room.

Owen was sitting by her bedsite, holding her her hand in his.

 _How did this happen?_ Metedith asked herself again.

She put down the tablet she was holding and walked into Amelia's room.

There she was, her head wrapped in bandages, her face pale, a tube in her mouth helping her breath.

"Hey" Meredith said quietly, putting a Hand on Owens shoulder "how are you?".

He looked at her, tears in his eyes.

"How did this happen?" He asked.

She frowned "Owen, I wish I knew…". She really did.

She just stood there, her hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

She knew that Owen was hoping for Amelia to wake up, but she, she wasn't. Not because she didn't want Amelia to survive. Of course not! No. She didn't want her to wake up because she knew, the moment she would wake up, she'd feel the pain.

Due to her prior opioid addiction, Amelia had always made clear, that in case of anything happening to her, she didn't want them to give her any opioids.

Now, something had happened to her. Something bad. Really bad.

Without the pain meds, revovery would be excruciating. For god's sake! She had just had brain surgery!

Meredith took her hand off Owen's shoulder. She gently stroked Amelia's cheek.

"You'll get through this… stay strong." She whispered, then she turned away from the bed and walked out off the room.

 _Please make her be ok when she wakes up. Please let her be ok._

 **Editors note: Any guesses on what's happend to Amelia? Feel free to leave me a review on what you think! I am always open to constructive criticism :)**


	7. Asleep

He was looking at her. Just sitting there, holding her hand, looking at her. The only times Owen had gotten up in the past hours were to go to the bathroom, and even then he had made sure that someone was with her. He didn't want her to be alone when she woke up.

Meredith had just come in again, checking Amelia's stats, but Owen was too tired to take much notice of her presence.

He was leaning back in his chair, eyes closed, almost dozing off, when all of the sudden he felt a movement.

"Meredith!" He exclaimed.

Caught by surprise, Meredith whirled around, almost knocking over Amelia's IV pole.

"What?!" She asked, her eyes wide "What happened?"

"She just… she just squeezed my hand!" Owen exclaimed, looking at Amelia's face for any sign of waking up.

"Amelia? Amelia can you hear me?" Meredith asked, grabbing onto Amelia's other hand. "Amelia can you squeeze my hand?"

Both Owen and Meredith were eagerly looking at her now.

All of the sudden Amelia's eyes began to open. Not much, but they opened.

"She's awake!" Meredith called out. Then she turned to one of the nurses that had just come into the room "Has he arrived yet?"

"Yes, he's just arrived at the hospital. Should I page him?" The nurse answered.

"Yes please! Make sure he knows it's urgent!" Meredith said, turning back towards Amelia.

All of this passed by Owen through a haze.

 _Please let her be okay! If she isn't okay it's my fault._

A few moments went by before the door to the hospital room opened again, a familiar face stepping into the room.


	8. Confusion

**Editors Note: Sorry that there haven't been as many updates in the last few days. I haven't been doing all that great, but I'll try to be more on a schedule when it comes to posting. Just stick with me, be patient. I apreciate the reviews and generally all of you reading so so much!**

 _So bright…_

She thought as she lightly opened her eyes. It took a second for her to grasp what was going on.

 _Am I in the hospital? What happened?_

All of the sudden she felt someone standing over her. A familiar voice. A male voice. Not Owens voice.

The person shone a light in her eyes.

 _Ouch_

The light was to bright.

As she regained more consciousness, Amelia noticed other people in the room with her. She could pick up on them talking, but couldn't understand what they where saying. Everything happend through a dazy haze.

 _Why are they here? Why am I here? Is that… OUCH!_

It took a moment, but now that she was regaining consciousness, pain started to radiate through her body from her head.

She couldn't think. She couldn't understand what was going on. All she could feel was the immense amount of pain she was in.

She could hear voices, beeping, more voices, more peeping.

 _Pain._

Then everything went dark again.

 _No more pain._


	9. Seize

She turned towards the door.

"You're just on time! She's waking up!" Meredith said to the man walking into Amelia's hospital room.

"Dr. Koracick" Owen acknowledged.

"Sorry we have to meet again under these circumstances." He said towards Owen, then turning towards Meredith with his usual arrogant smile "Good call calling the me, you called the best".

Meredith watched as Koracick walked over to Amelias bed.

"Amelia can you hear me?" He asked, pulling out his penlight from the chest pocket of his gown.

 _This is good. She's waking up. That's a good sign._

Meredith tried her best at convincing herself that this was all going to be ok.

 _She will pull through this. This is what we do. We pull through stu…_

Her thoughts were interrupted. All of the sudden Amelia started to stir in her bed, groaning in pain.

"Amelia? You need to stay still, your in the hospital, you had brain surgery" Meredith heard Dr. Koracick say, his voice stern, but she could hear the concern.

 _I wish we could give her opioids. I wish we didn't have to put her through this hell._

Then, everything happend way too fast. Amelias body tensed up, her eyes rolled back and she began to seize. The monitors began beeping vigorously.

Koracick and a nurse tried to keep her still, to not further the damage to her head.

"I need 4mg of Lorazepam, now!" Koracick ordered.

Meredith snapped out of her shock, trying to help restrain Amelia.

As she watched what was happening, the one question popped back into her mind.

 _How did this happen?_


	10. Helpless

He sat in the waiting room - again.

Worrying - again.

And quite frankly, blaming himself - again.

He had just stood there when the alarms went off, holding on to her hand. He hadn't known what to do. Everything had passed by him through a haze as they rushed her back into the OR.

 _A new bleed? How did they miss that? How did I miss that? I should have noticed it! I am a doctor!_

Owen thought to himself. He had felt so helpless when Amelia began to seize.

God, she had just started to wake up! He was just getting her back! She seemed better! And then that?

 _It's my fault! I should have noticed!_

Damit!" He whispered between clutched teeth, tears welling up in his eyes again.

They had just gotten back together. They were working past things. Yes, she was different after they removed her tumour but…

 _Oh god! What if she has complications because of the prior surgery? What if she has neurologic deficits when she wakes up? What if she can't be a surgeon anymore?_

Owen coundn't stop this train of thoughts that was rushing towards him.

 _She will be devastated if she can't operate anymore. What if that causes her to relapse? It will be my fault. I wasn't there. I should have been there. It's my fault._

He couldn't be doing this. He couldn't just sit here. But then, on the other hand, he didn't know what to do. There was nothing he could do. Nothing but worry. Worry and blame himself.

He felt so helpless it hurt. All of the sudden he felt sick. He got up. He felt really sick. He ran towards the restroom across from the waiting room. As he entered he passed Jackson who was washing his hands but he didn't say anything to him, instead hurrying into one of the stalls. As soon as he entered the stall he threw up, tears flowing down his face. All the feelings, all the pain, the fear and the guilt were there. Right there and he couldn't suppress them anymore.


	11. Comfort

_Could this really be true? Did this really happen?_

Jackson was lost in his thoughts as he was washing his hands. This didn't last long though, as Owen stormed into the washroom, rushing towards one of the stalls,slamming the door behin him. The next thing Jackson heard was gagging.

"Owen?" He asked concerned "Are you alright?" He didn't get an awnswer. Jackson approached the stall and knocked on the door. "Owen? Hey - are you okay?" He asked again. When there was no awnswer again, he opened the stall door a little. In his rush Owen hadn't locked it.

When Jackson saw him, he knew what he'd heard was true. It had happened. Something happened to Amelia.

"Hunt? What's going on?" Jackson asked more forcible this time.

"It's my… I… I… I should…" Owen sobbed.

"What happened to her?" Jackson asked concerned.

"I… I don't know… I should have been there…" Owen could barely breath "It's my… it's my…" he couldn't finish his sentence, getting interrupted by another wave of nausea.

Jackson rushed towards him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

 _What the hell is going on here?_

He asked himself.

"Ok, you need to breath!" He said to the choking Owen.

"I… I…" Owen tried to say but Jackson interrupted him "Hunt! Breath! Now!" He ordered. When he noticed that Owens breath started to normalise he started to gently rub his back. "Good… in and out… in and out…" he instructed him.

"She can't die! I can't loose her!" Owen cried.

"She's gonna get through this. She's a fighter." Jackson said, hoping he'd be right. Honestly, he didn't even know what was going on with Amelia but he knew that this was what Owen needed to her right now.

 _Please let me be right. Please let her be ok._

Jackson thought to himself.

All of the sudden his pager rang.

"Damit!" He exclaimed "I'm being paged 911 to the ER" he looked at Owen "Are you okay? Can I leave you here?"

Owen didn't awnswer at first.

"Owen?" Jackson asked again, Owen giving him a little nod in response. As he was leaving th washroom he heard Owens voice behin him

"Avery?"

"What?" Jackson asked concerned.

"Thank you." Owen said weakly, Jackson answering with a nod before rushing towards the ER.

 **Editors Note: A big big thank you to all of you who are reading this story! This chapter was really hard to write for me, because usually, Amelia would comfort Owen, but in this case I had to find someone else. It was kinda hard because Owen doesn't usually open up to people easily. I was thinking about bringing Riggs back for him, but then I'd have to also bring back Megan and then this whole story would get too overwhelming and would kind of loose it's focus I think. What do you think: Who would be a person Owen would open up to? Any ideas?**


	12. Reminder

She was just coming from the ER. Two patients. A teenage couple. A boy and a girl. Car accident. They where both going to be fine, nothing major, but car accidents always triggerd something in Meredith. After what had happened to Derek she looked at them differently. They weren't just any routine assememt.

 _What would Derek do? He'd probably not leave her side. He'd be going crazy right now, not being able, or rather, not being allowed to do anything to help Amy._

Meredith grabbed onto the scrub cap in her gown pocket. It was Derek's. His favourite ferryboat scrub cap.

"Please look out for her…" she whispered. She wasn't the type to pray, but right now she needed comfort and she found it in Derek.

Her thoughts where interrupted by Jackson who rushed into the ER. When he saw her he stopped.

"Is it true? What happend to her?" He asked concerned and somewhat out of breath.

"We don't know." Meredith answered "She was admitted with a head lac and an intercranial bleed. We fixed it but then she had another bleed. She's in surgery right now, Koracick flew in, he is operating."

Jackson looked at her in disbelief.

"Does April now yet?" Meredith asked him.

"She… um… no… I don't think so." Jackson answered, seemingly caught off guard by her question. "Wh… why?" He added.

"Well since her tumour surgery, she named April her power of attorney." Meredith said. When Jackson just stared at her she added "And she hasn't changed that." When he still didn't answer she continued "so April should probably be informed about this."

After a moment Jackson snapped out of his trance "Oh God… I didn't even think of that…" he murmured.

"Ok so should I tell her?" Meredith asked.

"No… no it's fine, I'll do it. She'll be out of surgery in half an hour I think." Jackson was still shocked by what he'd just heard and he wasn't looking forward to that conversation with April. Right as he said that, his pager went off again.

"Damit I've got to go. Can we talk later?" He asked in a stressed tone.

"Sure!" Meredith said as Jackson rushed towards the tauma rooms.

As Jackson left, Meredith's eyes wandered back to the scrub cap in her hand.

 _Please take care of her Derek. Please make her be ok._


	13. Scrub

She walked out of the OR into the scrub room to scrub out. The surgery had gone well. A man in his forties. He had gotten into an accident while rollerblading with his dog. Some internal bleeding, but April had been able to repair it well. He should be better soon.

As she was taking off her gown and gloves Jackson entered the scrub room. She turned towars him.

"Hey!" She greeted "what's up?" She asked lighthearted.

"Hey" he answered "Um, can you excuse us for a second please?" He said to Jo Wilson who was standing next to April in the scrub room, his voice stern as he said it.

"Sure." Jo said with a mix of concern and confusion in her voice as she left.

"Jackson what's going on? Are you ok?" April asked, her lighthearted attitude turning to concern, trying to look into Jackson's eyes, but he was avoiding her's.

"April…" he started, apparently not knowing how to put what he wanted to say.

"Did something happen? Jackson! Did something happen to Harriet?" She panicked.

"No! No, it's not Harriet… April" He took a deep breath.

She was scared. She didn't know what was going on.

"April, something happend to Amelia." Jackson said, finally meeting her eyes.

April was shocked. She couldn't say anything. She didn't know what to say. Her thoughts where racing.

"According to Meredith she was admitted with a head lac and an intercranial bleed. She had surgery but had another bleed. She's in surgery again right now." Jackson said in a disheartened voice. "April, I'm so sorry."

She still couldn't belive it. For a moment she just stared at Jackson.

"What… what happened?" She stammered.

"They don't know. She was barely responsive when she came in." He said. She could see how hard it was on him to deliver these news to her. Then the realisation hit.

"Oh god…" she whispered. It was her. Amelia had named her her power of attorney. It had been so hard on her when Amelia had her surgery. She'd been sitting in the chappel for hours, praying that Amelia would be alright. Praying that she wouldn't be faced with that daunting decision.

"April… I'm so so sorry." Jackson tried to console her.

"I… I'm sorry… I" she stammered "I have to go…" she said, pushing past him, out of the scrub room, into the hall. She felt like she had switched to auto pilot. It felt as if her legs walked by themselves. She just walked the halls of Grey Sloan Memorial, not even noticing what was going on around her, until she reached her destination. The place she always felt save. The hospital chappel. The said down on one of the benches, her thoughts racing.

 _Please God, please let her be ok. Please don't make me have to make that decision. Please God, please keep her save. Please._

 **Editors Note: I really hope you are enjoying the story so far. The app is giving me trouble at the moment. It won't update how many reads my story gets. It randomly jumps between 0, 4k, 9k and once it showed 12k. I really have no idea if anyone is even reading this so I'd really apreciate it if you could leave me a little review for this chapter just so I know that this is actually getting to people. It can be literally be anything from a full review of the story, to how many views it shows for you this story is getting or even just a little smiley face. I'll try to keep up with the daily chapters and I'd be really happy to get some feedback and ideas from you. Have an awesome day :)**


	14. Story

He said in the waiting room. Again.

After his meltdown in the washroom, Owen had managed to somewhat compose himself. Usually he wasn't the one to cry. He was Major Hunt. He was a soldier. He didn't cry. If anything, he was the one comforting someone else.

The waiting room door swung open. It was Meredith. Owen sprung up from his chair.

"How is she?" He asked, the fear and concern flaring up in his voice.

"She's still in surgery." Meredith said quick. "Owen…" she started "the police are here." She looked at him with concern.

"What? What why?" He asked shocked "wait… do they know anything about what happened to her?" He tried hard to stay put together but it wasn't really working.

"I don't know" Meredith admitted "they want to talk to you since you… found her" she said looking at him with a seeming sadness lingering in her eyes.

Owen didn't know what to answer. He didn't really know anything himself.

Meredith seemed to notice how much this all overwhelmed Owen.

"I can tell then you can't talk right now." She offered, laying a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"No. No, it's fine. I wanna do it." Owen pressed out between clenched teeth. He tried really hard to compose himself. He just wanted Amelia to be okay and if talking to the police was something he could do, he was gonna do it.

"Are you sure?" Meredith asked, trying to read his emotions. Owen just nodded in response.

Meredith left the room swiftly, coming back in only moments later, followed by two police officers.

Owen looked up. The two officers reminded him of the day he had found out Megan was alive. The two officers had showen up at his door. It was one of the best and worst days of his life at the same time. He had gotten his sister back, but at the same time he had felt more guilt then ever before. Even more than the day he had sent Megan on that chopper. He had left her for dead and moved on with his life, but there they where. The two officers, telling him his sister who he had erased from his life was alive.

"Doctor Hunt" one of the officers said, leading Owen to snap out of his thoughts. "My name is officer Dunlow, this is my college officer Porey." He paused.

Owen looked at the two officers standing infront of him. Right now, he felt almost as guilty as he had on that fateful day. He hadn't been there. He blamed himself.

"So, you found Ms. Shepherd in her apartment, correct?" Officee Dunlow asked.

"Yes. I am her husband." Owen answered. Saying that word felt strange. 'Husband'. They had separated after her tumour surgery. They both had taken off their wedding bands. They both had slept with other people. Now they had started to get back together. But now, now this had happened.

"So can you walk us through what happened when you found your wife?" The officer asked.

"I… I showed up at her appartment. We wanted to have breakfast. I brought her favourite waffels." Why was he telling the officer that? That wasn't important. It didn't matter. Owen's thoughts just rambled trough his head, trying to piece togehter exactly what had happend. "I knocked. She didn't answer, so I knocked again."

 _Had I just gotten there earlier. Maybe I could have prevented it._

He though to himself. His thoughts were speeding up.

"When she opened I instantly realised something wasn't right. She… she could barely stand. She was holding onto the door frame. I tried to hold her. She couldn't speak. She wasn't… she wasn't coherent." It physically hurt Owen to think about the bad shape he had found Amelia in. "I tried to hold her. She threw up. I tried to hold her but she collapsed… I… I tried my very best to help her! I put her in recovery position. I tried to wake her up. I called 911. I… I…" Tears started welling up in his eyes. His thoughts where racing. His breath was getting faster.

"Okay. But you do not know what happened to your wife that caused her injuries?" The officer inquired.

Owen couldn't think straight. His thoughts where just racing.

 _It's my fault. I wasn't there. I should have been there. It's my fault._

"I think that's enough." Meredith interjected. She'd been standing by the door the entire time, listening to the conversation.

"I'm sorry Ma'am. We have to finish his statement." Officer Porey stated blankly.

"Doctor Hunt?" Officer Dunlow asked again.

Owen couldn't breath. Reliving that moment was too overwhelming by itself, but the guilt and fear he felt only made it worse.

"Ok, you can't be doing this right now. You can get the rest of that statement later." Meredith said with a firm voice, focusing on the two officers.

"I am sorry Ma'am but protocol states…" officer Porey tried to argue but Meredith wasn't having it.

"I don't care what your protocol states. He needs a break right now! Can't you see that?" She asked, anger creeping into her voice.

"Please Ma'am, we have to do our jobs…" officer Dunlow tried to persuade Meredith.

"So do I." Meredith said stern. "As a doctor I have to ask you to step away. He has endured severe emotional trauma today and he needs to take a break right now. You can continue this later." She looked at the officers with an icy glare. When the two realised that she wasn't going to back down, they let it go and exited the waiting room.

"We will talk to you later." Officer Dunlow said as the two left.

All of this was passing Owen like it was happening in a parallel universe. He wasn't taking in his surroundings anymore, instead he was lost in his sprialing thoughts.

Meredith rushed towards Owen. He was crying, hyperventilating and was clearly overwhelmed. Before she could say something Owen lurched over to the nearest trashcan to throw up. Meredith was right beside him.

"Shhhhh… it's gonna be ok… she's gonna be ok…" she comforted him as she gently rubbed his back.

 **Editors Note: Thank you all so much for the nice reviews! Sadly, two bug reports later, the problem is still not fixed. I'll keep you posted. Concerning the story, one of you asked for longer chapters, so I tried to make this one a little longer. I will try to make the future ones longer too, but I can't promise anything yet. I kind of write spontaneously so sometimes the chapters happen to be longer or shorter. I really apreciated the constructive criticism though! It's really fun for me to work with your suggestions so I'm happy if you keep it up :)**


	15. Patients

He was checking her stats. Amelia had just gotten out of surgery and had been moved to the ICU to monitor her closely. Andrew checked her breathing, her heart rate, her IV. She was just laying there. Her head covered in thick white bandages, hooked up to a ventilator, an IV and multiple monitors. The room was silent apart from the sound of the ventilator and the occasional beeps from the monitors.

When he was done with his routine check ups he just stood there, not knowing what to do next. Through her tumour surgery they had almost become friends. Yes, she still was his superior but there was some kind of connection. He hated seeing her like this, knowing how hard this had been on her the last time.

"Please stay strong Doctor Sheperd…" he said quietly, giving her arm a comforting squeeze.

She was one of the most brilliant people he had ever met. She was also one of the strongest people he had ever met. She had lost so much in her life and still, she excelled in her job every single day, saving lifes on the daily. All this, while being face with this incredibly cruel irony in her life. She was a brilliant neurosurgeon but her father died because he got shot in the head, her baby had been born with no brain, she had had a brain tumour and the one person she would have needed most in that situation, her neurosurgeon brother, had died of a brain bleed. Now here she was again. Two brain bleeds in one day. They'd cracked her skull open twice.

Since Owen hadn't gotten to her room yet, Andrew decided to sit with Amelia for a while. He didn't really know what to say so he just started to recide the patients he had treated that day, just as he would normaly do when they got ready for rounds.

"Layla Carlile, 21 year old female. Admitted to the ER unconscious with an open head wound after falling off a cliff side during a hiking trip with her husband. The patient was later diagnosed with a comminuted compound fracture of the cranial bone and an intercranial bleed, pressuring the frontal lobe. Emergency surgey has been performed to relieve pressure on the brain and realign the crainal bone. Post OP stats look good, neurological function will be determined upon awakening after surgery." When he was done with his report he just looked at Amelia again.

 _What happend to her?_

He thought to himself. Layla Carlile had fallen off a cliff. The little girl he'd treated this morning with a concussion had been hit in the head with a base ball during practice. The man who'd been admitted an hour later with a head lac and a dislocated knee had tripped on the sidewalk. Either they themselves, their relatives, friends or other whitenesses had told him. He had written it down in their charts himself. But Amelia? No one knew what had happend to her.

"DeLuca?" A voice shook him out of his thoughts.

"Doctor Koracick." He answered surprised "I was just…" he began but Koracick interrupted him

"Don't need to her it. How are stats?" Koracick said in his usual arrogant tone.

Andrew began ratteling down her stats as he usually did. "BP is 90/60. She hasn't regained consciousness and is still on ventilation. She has not been given any opioids…"

"Which is incredibly stupid!" Koracick interrupted, checking the chart again.

Andrew looked at Amelia again. He admired her for deciding against the drugs despite the immense abount of pain she would have to endure.

"Page me if anything changes." Koracick ordered, turning towards the door.

"Doctor Koracick!" Andrew tried to stop him

"What DeLuca?" Koracick asked, already standing in the door.

"Is she gonna be ok?" Andrew asked. He knew it was a stupid question even before he asked it. He knew damn well that there would be no answer until she woke up, but he just wanted to believe that this was going to be ok. That this wasn't going to be another Sheperd tragedy.

"DeLuca…" Koracick started in his usual arrogant tone but then stopped as if he was rethinking what he was going to say. "…let's hope so." He said, looking at the resident for a moment before repeating: "Page me if anything changes. Got it?"

"Yes Doctor." Andrew aswered.

He turned back to Amelia, one question in his mind.

 _How did this happen?_

 **Editors note: Thank you all so so so much for all the nice reviews! I really appreciate them :).** **Sorry for getting this chaper out so late, my day was waaaay too busy.** **Have an amazing day! I am always happy to hear from you!**


	16. Coffee

She looked through the glass door of Amelia's ICU room. There was Owen again. Sitting beside her bed, not leaving her side even for a second. He'd been sitting there from the moment he was informed that Amelia had gotten out of surgery.

Meredith had asked him earlier if she should take over for a while, but he had declined, staying by her side. It was so different from last time. Last he had barely been around. It had almost been awkward being in the same room with the two of them.

Meredith was just about to go to the cafeteria to get some coffee for Owen and herself when Maggie came shooting abround the corner.

"Mer what happend? Is she alright? Why didn't you page me right away?" She asked full of concern.

"I'm sorry. It all happened so fast. She was admitted early this morning, Owen came in with her. You were in surgery and so…" Meredith tried to explain. She felt truly sorry about not informing Maggie right away.

"It's fine. I'm sorry for being so harsh. I was just so concerned." Maggie said in a more soothing voice "What happened to her?" She asked

"They don't know yet." Meredith answered, looking at Amelia again through the glass door "Owen found her in her appartment. According to him she wasn't coherent and lost consciousness soon after he got there."

"Oh god… poor Owen… he must be feeling terrible." She said, sorrow and compassion in her voice. Now both Maggie and Meredith where looking at Amelia through the glass doors. They were both silent for a while. Both contemplating how this was possibly happening.

"Do you wanna go in?" Meredith asked Maggie.

Maggie looked at Owen sitting next to Amelia's bed, holding her Hand "I think he needs time with her alone right now…"

"I was going to get coffee from the cafeteria for Owen and myself, wanna come? I can fill you in on everything on the way down." Meredith offered in a quiet careful voice. She wasn't good at the comfort talk and the warm and fluffy support-in-terrible-situations kind of thing. She was dark and twisty. Just like Amelia. When she had been the one sitting next to Amelia's bed after her tumour surgey she'd been thinking about her a lot. They hadn't gotten along at all after Derek's death, both being unable to cope with their situations and finding resentment for eachother as the only way out. They reminded eachother so much of him. Now it was different. To this day Meredith regretted saying that Amelia wasn't her sister and pushing her away when she had needed her. Now it was different. They had gotten on better terms with each other. Supporting eachother as best as they could, through Amelia's wedding amd her surgery. Now, Meredith did see her as her sister and seeing her sister in that hospital bed hurt. Not just because it reminded her so much of Derek before his passing, but because Amelia had become part of her and her family.

"Sure" Maggie answered, bringing Meredith back from her thoughts. The two left the ICU, heading towards the cafeteria. Meredith filled Maggie in on everything that had happend from the time she was admited, over the first surgery to the second, to how she was doing now post OP.

While talking to Maggie there was one question Meredith couldn't get out of her head:

 _How did this happen, and how did it happen again?_


	17. Wake

She was woken up by a quiet voice.

"Hey, Maggie! Wake up!"

Maggie slowly opened her eyes. It took her a moment to realise where she was.

"What time is it?" She mumbled, still not fully awake.

"It's 7:30." Meredith aswered "You need to get up."

The two had spend the night in one of the on call rooms, neither of them wanting to go home in case Amelia's condition worsened during the night. Meredith had arranged for the kids to spend the night at Arizona's for the next few days so that her and Maggie could stay at the hospital by Amelia's side.

"Have you heard anything from Owen yet?" Maggie asked, sitting up in her bunk, rubbing sleep from her eyes.

"No not yet. I was gonna go her room now to check how she's doing." Meredith aswered, putting on one of the navy blue attendings scrub tops.

"Is it okay if I come too?" Maggie asked, twisting her hair into a bun. She didn't want to disrupt the new found harmony between Meredith an Amelia but still wanted to be by Amelia's side as much as possible.

"Sure!" Meredith smiled "Mind if we stop by the cafeteria? I need some coffee." She stated rubing her eyes.

"Me… too" Maggie yawned, putting her shoes on.

The two left the on call room and headed towards the cafeteria. Maggie couldn't stop thinking about Amelia's tumour surgery. When she had woken up she had spoken french and Maggie had had to interpret for the others. Well at first she hadn't spoken at all. Maggie remebered how Amelia had told her about the tumor. She had been the first to know apart from DeLuca who obviously had known right away. She remembered the look on Owen's face when he realised that the scans were Amelia's. She rembered how she had to tell Meredith and how scared she'd been to do it.

They got in line for coffee. Just when Maagie had ordered, April came through the cafeteria doors, joining them at the coffee counter.

"Have you heard anything from Amelia? How is she doing?"

Maggie could hear the concern in her voice.

"We where just about to go up. Koracick said that she will probably wake up sometime this morning." Meredith answered, grabbing the two coffees she had ordered. One for her and one for Owen.

"Wanna come too?" Maggie offered. She could see how scared April was for Amelia, judging from the darkcircles under her eyes she hadn't slept much last night.

"Are you sure?" April asked carefully. She knew the strong bond between the three sisters.

"Amelia will be happy to have as all there" Meredith answered, adding "she probaly won't admit it, but she'll be happy." She grinned.

"Thanks" April answered.

Maggie noticed how absent April seemed, lost in thought an worry. She didn't even seem to notice the Barista trying to process her order.

"$3.95, please."

April didn't respond, staring vacantly into space, her fingers fidgeting with a coffee stick.

"The coffee's on me." Maggie said to the Barista as he finished up April's order.

"Oh no… you shouldn't…" April tried to argue when she realised what was going on.

"It's fine. I'm happy to." Maggie smiled at her, handing her her coffee cup.

"We should get to Amelia's room guys. It's about time for her to wake up!" Meredith said, gesturing towards the cafeteria doors. The three exited the cafeteria and took the elevator upstairs. When they got to Amelia's room, they could see Koracick talking to Owen through the glass doors. When Maggie entered the two stopped their conversation turning towards the three women.

"I got you coffee." Meredith smiled as she handed the paper cup to Owen.

"How is she doing? Are there any signs of her waking up yet?" Maggie asked towards Koracick.

"Well, everybody's recovery time is different, but she should wake up soon." He answered. As if on cue, Maggie noticed Amelia's eyes open a little bit.

"She's waking up!" She exclaimed. Everybody rushed closer towards her bed.

"Oh god! Thank you!" April said, letting out a deep breath.

"Amelia? Can you hear me?" Koracick asked, looking at Amelia. Maggie watched him pull out his pen light and shining it into Amelia's eyes to test her pupils.

"Why isn't she responding?" Owen saked anxiously, giving Amelia's hand a little squeeze.

"Listen everybody" Koracick said in a calm voice "I can just repeat myself. Everybody's recovery time is different. She's doing just fine considering the circumstances. Just give her some room and we'll see later."

As he said that, Amelia's eyes closed again.

Maggie watched Amelia slip back into sleep. She was glad she was asleep. It meant she wasn't in a lot of pain. Not yet.

 **Editors Note: Hey everybody, sorry for not uploading a new chapter yesterday. I just haven't be doing so great the past few days health wise so I haven't written much. I would like to say how incredibly much I appreciate your reviews. Reading them really inspires me and helps me write what you'd like to read :)** **Have a super nice day!**


	18. Fog

_There's someone there. Who is it?_

Amelia couldn't quite make it out. She felt so tired. Her body felt so heavy. Everything seemed so hazy as if her brain was foggy. She could make out two, maybe three voices. She wasn't sure. They sounded familiar but she couldn't really make them out. All of the sudden there where more voices. Three? Four? She didn't know. All she knew was that she was glad that someone was there. She didn't really understand what was going on, where she was, what had happened but she was to groggy to really panic.

As she became more aware of her body, she tried to open her eyes. They where so so heavy. She heard the voices talk. She tried again and this time she was successful. She opened her eyes just a little bit. There where people there. She knew that she knew them but she couldn't fit the puzzle pieces together. They seemed so familiar. She could make them out looking at her. Were they smiling? She didn't know.

It was all so much. So bright, so loud and nothing made sense, still she was to weak to worry. The fact that these people where there comforted her. She felt herself slip back into sleep. She tried to stay awake, but the urge to sleep was just to strong, taking over her body.

Everything was dark.

Everything was quiet.

 **Editors Note: I know, I know this chaper is super super short, but I just didn't think it made sense to make it much longer. I will definitely try to upload another one today so it's not as bad ;)**

 **Again thank you so so much for all the great reviews! To those who review eveyday: I see you and I really appreciate you tremendously!**


	19. Breath

She was sitting next to Amelia's bed just as she had after her tumour surgery. Owen had just left for the first time since yesterday. It was 4am and she'd been able to convince him to at least get a little sleep in one of the on call rooms, promising him to page him if anything changed.

Meredith was just sitting there, watching Amelia's chest rise and fall in tune with the sound of the ventilator. She didn't know why, but she just took Amelia's hand and started to talk to her in a quiet calming voice.

"Hey Amelia… you know, you need to stay strong. I know it's hard, but Owen really needs you…"

She was quiet again, looking at Amelia's hand in her.

"Actually… I really need you too…" she said, a little smile forming on her face.

"I know it hasn't always been easy between us and I mean, we do drive eachother crazy sometimes, but… you are my sister and I really need you… we all do…"

She stroked Amelia's hand gently. All of the sudden Amelia began to move a little, lightly squeezing Meredith's hand.

"Hey Amelia? What's going on?" She asked with a bit of concern in her voice, then Amelia stared to make a light coughing noise. Meredith quickly pressed the call button next to Amelia's bed and ran to the door.

"Hey, I need some help in here! She's breathing over the tube, we need to extubate her!"

This was a good sign. A really good sign.

As soon as a nurse had helped her to extubate Amelia, Meredith paged Owen. Amelia was only barely awake, but this was an important step and a good sign that she was recovering well.

A few moments later, a very tired looking Owen came rushing through the door.

"What happend? Is she ok?" He asked, fear and concern in his voice.

"She started breathing on her own. We just extubated her." Meredith smiled at him.

Owen rushed to Amelia's side, grabbing her other hand. Meredith and Owen stayed with her like this until the morning. Both sitting on either side of the bed, holding her Hands, making sure she was ok.

Hoping that the coming day wouldn't be as terrifying as they imagined it would be.

 **Editors note: Sorry for the irregular updates lately. I thought about telling you what's going on and I might as well do it. I got a concussion almost two years ago and afterwards developed persistent symptoms (Post Concussion Syndrom / PCS). I've had problems with concentation and 24/7 headaches since I got the concussion and they get worse over the day, the more (especially) cognitive work I do, so writing can be really hard for me sometimes. On one hand the headache prevents me from writing, on the other hand I just write kinda uncreative, incoherent, rambly crap when I can't concentrate. I still love to write this though and you all are amazing! Just know, if there ever isn't an update, it's not because I don't want to write but because I'm just not doing well.**

 **I hope you are all having a great day and are enjoying this story :)**


	20. Squeeze

The past few hours had been excruciating.

Maggie had gotten to the hospital in the morning. She had been happy to hear from Meredith that Amelia had been extubated but she also knew what that meant. It meant that this was gonna be the part where she was awake, aware and had to go through excruciating pain - again.

Maggie had sat by Amelia's bed for the past hour. She wasn't talking, just quietly crying. It seemed as if every breath, every vanishingly small movement, every tiny noise put her in more pain. Maggie had offered her her hand to hold. She had been sqeezing it tightly for the past hour, leaving it numb. DeLuca had come in to check her stats but he also, could only watch. It felt so cruel not to give her drugs to relieve her unimaginable amount of pain, but she knew that it was what Amelia wanted.

Meredith walked into the room as quietly as she could but the sound of the door closing still made Amelia wince in pain. Meredith comfortingly stroked Amelia's arm, before gesturing towards Maggie to come outside with her.

"I will be back soon." Maggie whispered to Amelia, giving her hand a reassuring sqeeze before getting up and leaving. It was only now that she noticed how much her hand hurt and how tightly Amelia must habe been squeezing it. When the two got outside, Meredith turned towards Maggie.

"How is she doing?" She asked, obvious concern lingering in her voice.

"It's terrible… she's so strong but she's in an insurmountable amout of pain…" Maggie couldn't look at Meredith as she said it, her eyes watering. She had never wanted to see her sister like this and she definitely didn't want to see her like this again. She quickly whiped her tears away, trying to stay strong. For Amelia.

"Anyway, have the police found anything out yet?" She asked with a small sniff, trying to steady her voice.

"No, they haven't really been able to find anything so far." Meredith answered. "At the moment anything could have happened to her."

Maggie's gaze hit the clock on the wall behind Meredith.

"3pm? Damit!" She exclaimed "I have a consult in 30mins, can you look after Amelia?" Maggie asked.

Meredith nodded. Maggie gave her a quick hug before hurrying off to the attendings lounge.

She couldn't get Amelia off her mind. Seeing her like that hurt. A lot.

 _I hope she gets better as soon as possible. She needs to get better._

 **Editors Note: Yay! We made it to 20 chapters! Thank you so much for all the nice reviews in my absence! One of you asked how many chapters this will have and while I am not sure about that yet, I can promise that it's not at all over yet ;)**


	21. Scream

He took her hands, carefully trying to pull her up.

 _Please let her be ok…_

Andrew hoped to himself as he helped Amelia sit up. The hope didn't last long when she whinced in pain.

"I'm sorry Doctor Shepherd, I know it hurts but you can do it." He encouraged while pulling down the side rail of her hospital bed. She cried out as he pulled her legs over the side of the bed, putting her hands around his neck.

"You can do this. Let's just get you into the chair." He said in a comforting voice.

He knew that she wanted this. Before her tumour surgery he had had to promise her that he would do the early ambulation protocol with her. Her patients had an extremely high recovery rate because of this. But even knowing all the positive facts about it, it still hurt, putting patients through all this pain even though it was for their best. It was hard with any patient but this was even worse. Since they couldn't give Amelia any potent painkillers the amount of pain she was in seemed insurmountable.

She screamed as he carefully lifted her out of the bed, her head rested against his chest, her arms limp around his neck. He placed her into the chair next to the bed.

"Good job. You did great." He tried to comfort her but she just cried almost silently.

All of the sudden the door to the room opened and Doctor Koracick entered. As he saw what was going on he just raised an eyebrow.

"Do you enjoy this DeLuca?" He asked in a nonchalant voice as he checked Amelia's chart.

The questin had caught Andrew off guard. "What? No!" He answered confused and a little angry that Koracick would ask such a question. He knew he didn't hink much of the early ambulation protocol but he also knew that Shepherd's patients had a higher recovery rate than his.

"Well when you're done torturing her for the day, I want you to come down to radiology for a consult." He said with a brief glare towards Andrew, before leaving the room again.

Andrew wasn't sure what to make of this guy. He was an arrogant ass, sure, but he was also a brilliant surgeon and something told him that deep down under all that arrogance, he still seemed to care about his patients.

He kneeled down to Amelia. "Ok we are gonna get you back into bed Doctor Shepherd, alright?"

The only answer he got was a little whimper. He hated seeing her like this.

"Ok you can do this, you hear me? On three." He said, placing his arms around her.

"One… two…" he lifted her out of the chair "three!"

She screamed in agony as he lifted her, crying out for the pain to pass. Andrew placed Amelia back in her bed, trying to make her as comfortable as possible.

"You did great." He comended in a soft voice, tucking her back into her covers. For a moment he looked at her. "Doctor Shepherd I know you know this, but this will pass. You will make it through this." He adjusted her IV.

She barely responded but he noticed that she found comfort in his presence.

"I'm sure Meredith or Owen will be here any moment." He reasured her with a gaze to the clock above the door. "I'll be back soon." He said softly before leaving the room to get to the consult Koracick had ordered him to.

 _Please let this be over. Please let her pain stop. She has to get better because this world needs people like her._

He thought to himself as he walked towards the elevator.

 _This world needs brilliant minds like hers._

 **Editors note: Yaaay! Finally an update! My body is giving me all kinds of troubles right now and life is just super stressful but I will still try to get you somewhat consistend updates :)**

 **Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I really enjoy exploring the relationships between the different characters. Let me know what you think :)**


	22. Mumble

She'd slept in the chair next to Amelia's bed. Meredith's back really hurt but she didn't mind it. Amelia had slept straight through the night which was good. The pain hadn't woken her up.

Meredith rubbed sleep from her eye's as Owen came in. He looked tired. He probably hadn't slept much again.

"How is she?" He asked in a warm but concerned voice.

"She…" Meredith yawned "…slept through." She looked at Owen who was looking at Amelia, a sadness filling her eyes.

"Do you think she'll get through this?" He asked. She noticed that he tried to keep his voice steady, but she knew his fear.

"I wish I knew…" she answered. "She's strong. She's overcome the seemingly impossible more than once." She added.

At that moment Amelia began to move in her bed a little.

"Hey we are here Amelia! Can you hear us? We are here!" Owen said, rushing to her side, taking her hand.

"Ths… I… ouch…" Amelia muttered.

"I think she's talking!" Owen said excited, his eyes filling with tears of joy. "Hey, are you talking?" He asked Amelia.

Meredith paged Koracick as quickly as she could, hurrying to Amelia's side.

"Saa… me…" Amelia muttered weakly.

Meredith helplessly watched as the excitement in Owens eyes changed to fear.

" 'melia?" He asked, holding back tears.

"She's ok. She's gonna be ok." Meredith tried to reassure him. Actually she was trying to reassure herself aswell. Last time she was right. After the tumour surgery, when Amelia hadn't responded after waking up, she'd been the one who had assured the others that she was gonna be ok. This was different though. Last time, when ahe started to speak, she had spoken clearly. She had spoken french, but she had spoken full words, full sentences. This time she wasn't.

 _She's gonna be alright. She's strong. She's gonna make it through this. We push through things. She's gonna be alright._


	23. Safe

"How long will this last?"

"This is just temporary, right?"

"It's gonna reverse on it's own, right?"

Everybody was asking. Everybody was hoping.

Owen just stared through the sliding glass door at Amelia in her bed. This couldn't be happening.

"At this point we can't say anything for sure. You all know this. The next few days will show if there is any permanent damage." Koracick said.

"Are you saying this might not be temporary?" Jackson asked shocked.

"Will she still be able to operate?" Maggie asked, her words laced with fear.

"Calm down everybody. There's nothing you can do right now but be there for her and wait." Koracick said before leaving the others to their panic.

Owen didn't know what to say.

 _What if she stays this way? What if she never talks again?_

And then, an even scarier question came to his mind.

 _What if she can't be a surgeon anymore?_

He knew that it would destroy her.

 _She won't survive that. She'll relapse. She won't survive that relapse._

Amelia had fallen asleep again. Owen wanted to go in and hold her hand again, let her know he was there, but he couldn't. If she woke up again, unable to speak, he wouldn't be able to take it.

He felt so guilty for what had happened. In the parking lot she had asked him if he wanted to come to her place but he had refused because he had been too tired.

 _I should have been with her. I could have avoided this. I could have protected her._

His thoughts began to spiral again. He wanted to be by her side, but the fact that he couldn't made him just feel worse. He hated himself for being too much of a coward to face this. It had been the same thing last time. He had been angry, yes, but he had also been scared. Even though he was mad at her for how she had treated him, he still was so so scared to loose her. He was scared to see her in so much pain.

Owen knew that, if he wasn't gonna have another breakdown, there was just one place he could go. He didn't even think while walking through the halls of the hospital. He didn't even take in the people around him. He just needed to get there. He just needed to be safe.


	24. Ryan

Meredith, Maggie and April were sitting in the cafeteria for an early lunch. Maggie had spend the night with Amelia.

"Are there any news yet?" April asked, taking a bite of her food.

"Haven't heard anything so far." Meredith answered.

"She slept through the night. The pain seems to get better." Maggie said with a little smile. She was glad Amelia was feeling a little better, but her speech scared her.

"Oh thank god she's doing better!" April seemed relieved.

Alex sat down next to Meredith, putting down his tray.

"Any news from Shepherd yet?" He asked.

"Not yet." Meredith answered "Has anyone seen Owen?" She added. Everyone shook their heads.

"It must be so hard for him…" April said, a sadness lingering in her voice "they just got back together and now this happens…"

"Should we do something for him?" Maggie asked "I mean, can we do something?"

"I don't think a bouquet of flowers will do Pierce." Alex said, taking a bit of his sandwich.

Maggie just shot him a glare of half annoyance, half grin. She like Alex. He was kind of screwed up but weren't they all?

"Should we… I don't know… cook?" April offered.

"She's not dead." Alex said inbetween bites.

For a moment the four were silent, each trying to think of something thy could do for Owen.

"I think he's blaming himself." Meredith broke the silence in a dejected tone.

"What? Why?" April asked confused.

"I though he was the one who saved her?" Alex added, a questioning expression on his face.

"It's what he does." Meredith said "he feels responsible. He want's to fix things and this he can't fix."

"By the way, where is Owen?" Maggie asked "He wasn't there last night. "In fact he wasn't there all morning either." She was a little concerned. He'd been there every minute, every second for the past days and now he was just absent all of the sudden?

"You don't think he's going MIA like last time do you?" Alex asked.

"No… no. I don't think so…" Meredith said with a thoughtful face. In that moment her phone went off.

"It's DeLuca." She said "Oh my god, I think Amelia's talking!" She jumped up. The others followed.

"Sorry guys, I have a consult in 10mins, but I'll check in later!" April said.

Maggie, Meredith and Alex rushed towards Amelia's room. When they got there DeLuca already awaited them.

"She's talking… kinda…" he said.

"Is she speaking french again?" Maggie asked, a little out of breath.

"No… it's only words." DeLuca answered "She's asking for Ren or Ryns or something?"

Meredith rushed to Amelia's side "Hey, how are you doing?" She asked in a soft, warm voice.

"I… I need…" Amelia stumbled, her speech still slurred "I… need Ryan… where… I… I need…"

Maggie looked at Amelia with concern and confusion. "Amelia, can you tell us who Ryan is?"

Alex looked at the two "Maybe she's just a little confused? Where the hell is Owen?"

"I paged him." DeLuca answered.

"Me too…" Meredith said.

"That's weird… did he say anything yesterday?" Maggie wondered.

"No, but he seemed pretty distressed after… you know…" Meredith said with a telling look towards Amelia. Before Meredith could say anymore Amelia began to gag.

"Alex, grab a basin quick!" Meredith instructed. Alex quickly handed her a kidney dish. As soon as Meredith held it towards Amelia, she threw up. Meredith comfortingly rubbed her shoulder as the other two watched. When Amelia was done, Meredith handes the dish to Alex who quickly went to the washroom to empty it.

"Should we be worried?" Maggie asked concerned.

"No, I think it's fine." Meredith answered "She must be pretty dizzy after all her brain had to handle."

As Amelia laid back down she whinced in pain.

"I think we should give her some time…" Meredith said in a soft voice, calmingly stroking Amelias shoulder.

"I will update you if there are any news!" DeLuca offered.

The three quietly left the room, but one question was still on their minds:

 _Where the hell is Owen?_

 **Editors Note: Yay! Two chapters in one day! I just wanted to quickly let you know how much I apreciate all of the reviews! Some of you care so much and I am very very thankful for it. Concerning the story: I still have quite a bit in stock but if you all are really getting bored I can end it quickly. Let me know what you think :)**


	25. Vanish

She walked into the attendings lounge, April, Maggie, Jackson and Alex already sitting there - worrying.

"Have you heard anything from Owen?" Alex asked Meredith.

"No. I've paged and called multiple times but he isn't answering. I even checked at his house." She said, concern in her voice.

"Should we worry? We should worry, right?" Maggie asked, equally as concerned.

"This isn't like him. He doesn't just run off without warning… he runs off, but not like this…" Meredith wondered.

"You don't think… he would…" April couldn't finish her sentence.

"I shouldn't have left him in the washroom the other day… damit!" Jackson ran a hand over his head, pacing up and down the attendings lounge.

"What? What happened?" April asked shocked.

"The day Amelia was admitted I saw him in the washroom. He was throwing up, crying, hyperventilating, basically having a panic attack, he was a complete mess. He couldn't even get full sentences out but I think he was blaming himself. He said he couldn't loose her." Jackson explained.

"Why did you leave him?!" Maggie asked in an almost angry tone.

"I got paged 911 to the ER. I calmed him down, he seemed… well… okay, considering the circumstances. Damit! I shouldn't have left him!" Jackson blamed himself.

"Ok shifting blame for things that no one's to blame for seems to be what got us here in the first place, so stop!" Meredith interrupted. She knew that this wasn't like Owen. Yes, he had gone MIA before, but not like this. When he had to get away he'd sign up for another tour of duty and leave or he would burry himself in work, but he wasn't the type to just go missing without notice.

For a few moments there was a tense silence, then April spoke what eveyone was thinking. "Should we call the police?"

There was another silence. This time Meredith broke it. "I think we should keep looking for him first. Maybe he just short circuited and drove down to Megan. We should call them."

"I can do that." Maggie offered. "Maybe he just needed his sister and bestfriend to vent, maybe…"

Meredith interrupted her, the expression on her facechanging "What did you just say?"

"He might need his sister?" Maggie offered confused.

"No, no the other part!" Meredith exclaimed. Everyone was looking at her now.

"He needs to vent? Well of course he does, everyone in his situation would…" Maggie answered even more confused but Meredith interrupted her again.

"Damit!" She exclaimed between clenched teeth. She looked at Jackson and Alex "You two need to come with me, I think I might know where Owen is." She said, a concerned look on her face "Maggie don't call Megan yet!"

The three quickly left, leaving a confused Maggie and April in the attendings lounge.

 _Please let him be there. Please let him be okay. Please let him not have done something stupid._

Meredith hoped while hurrying down the hospital floors followed by Jackson and Alex.

 **Editors note: Anyone got an idea where Owen is?**

 **Did you get the clue? ;)**


	26. Found

"Where are we going?" He asked as he hurried after Meredith. She didn't answer.

Jackson was genuinely concerned for Owen. He liked him and he felt extremely bad for what he had to endure because of this.

After a while they had reached the hospital basement.

"Where evenare we?" Alex asked confused.

"This way!" Meredith said, pushing open the heavy door to the boiler rooms.

"Hunt? Are you down here?" Alex yelled out.

"Oh god!" Meredith exclaimed as she found Owen slumped down, leaning against a wall next to one of the vents.

"I need help over here!" She yelled, Alex and Jackson hurrying to her side.

Jackson kneeled down next to Owen, checking his pulse. "Hey, Hunt can you hear me?" He checked his breathing and his eyes. Owen was barely responding.

"Wha… What happened?" He mumbled.

"Ok we need to get him upstairs!" Alex said.

"His pulse is a little slow and his breathing is too shallow. I think he's extremely dehydrated." Jackson said, deep concern in his voice.

"I don't think he's slept much in the past few days either." Meredith added.

"Okay Hunt, we're gonna get you up now." Alex announced. He and Jackson grabed Owen's arms and carefully pulled him up to a standing position, trying to steady him so he wouldn't fall again. He was almost dead weight in their arms.

"How long do you think he's been down here?" Jackson asked concerned.

"I haven't seen him since yesterday after Amelia started to speak so…" she looked at the two guys with concern and sorrow in her eyes.

They got up the stairs as quickly as they could to get Owen admitted. They got him in a bed and got an IV running to get him rehydrated.

Jackson had just left the room after getting Owen's IV running when April and Maggie came running towards him.

"What happened? Is he ok?" April asked scared and concered.

"Where was he?" Maggie asked equally concerned for Owen.

"We found him down in the boiler room by the vent…no idea how Meredith knew to look there. He's pretty dehydrated and sleep deprived. On top of that the vent was pretty hot so that didn't help either." Jackson explained.

"Oh thank god you found him…" April sight.

All three were silent for a moment, each knowing how badly this could have ended.

"I think we should give him some time to sleep and rest." Jackson said to the other two. "He's been through too much in the past few days."

 **Editors note: Yup you guessed right :) I'm kinda on a roll here so here you go with a secon chapter today. Don't worry the next chapter will get back to Amelia. I try to write as true to character as I can but I don't really know if that's always working / let me know what you think :)**


	27. Sorry

"Hey, you're back." She said with a soft smile on her face. Meredith had altered between Amelia's and Owen's rooms for the past few hours, checking that both were okay.

Owen looked at her still a little groggy as he woke up "What happend?" He asked in a hoarse voice, trying to clear his throat.

"You tell me." Meredith said softly "We found you by the vent. You were severely dehydrated and apparently pretty sleep deprived." She said with a glance to the clock above the door.

"Wait… what time is it?" Owen asked confused.

"Almost 8am." Meredith answered. "You slept for almost 14 straight hours Owen." She added, concern mixing into her voice.

"8am Wednesday?" He asked, trying to do the math.

Meredith looked at him, her expression growing more concerned. "No. Owen, it's 8am Thursday." When he looked at her confused she added: "You where missing for almost a day before we found you."

She could see the confusion in his face turn first to disbelieve and then to panic.

"I… I need to get to Amelia… I need to…" he tried to get up out of the bed but Meredith held him back.

"Stop! You're gonna tear out your IV. You need to rest." She said in a calm but strict voice. "She's doing pretty well considering the circumstances. She started to speak a little." Meredith said, a smile hushing over her face.

"Please… I need to see her…" Owen begged weakly.

"Later, okay?" Meredith offered. There was a little pause. "Owen?" She asked "Do you know who Ryan is?"

"No… no I don't. What Ryan do you mean?" He answered a little confused.

"Nevermind, it's nothing." Meredith tried to deflect but apparently he wasn't buying it.

"Wait, is this about Amelia? Who's Ryan? Did he do this to her?" Owen asked, panic arising in his voice again.

"Owen, calm down." Meredith said. "Yes, Amelia asked for him yesterday. Sure you don't know him?"

He seemed to be thinking for a moment before Meredith interrupted him.

"It's probably nothing. She seemed pretty confused. She said something about babies and unicorns as well this morning, so just… don't worry about it okay?" Meredith tried to brush it off.

"She talked about babies?" Owen asked.

"Yea something about a baby, probably past memories, as I said: Don't worry ok? She's getting better everyday." Meredith reassured. There was another silence for a few moments.

"Owen, what happend down there?" Meredith asked, her voice filling with concern again. She could see how hard Owen was thinking. It seemed as if he tried to fit the puzzle pieces together.

"I… when…" he tried to collect his thoughts "I was so scared." He finally answered. Meredith could see in his whole posture that saying this lifted a weight off his shoulders.

"I just needed some time. I needed to get away…" Owen tried to explain.

"So you went to the vent?" Meredith asked.

"Yea, I guess… I… when I was there I… I guess I must have collapsed." He answered steadily. "I didn't realise how dehydrated I must have been. I… I haven't been sleeping much the past few days." He added.

Meredith looked at him with deep concern. "Owen you need to take better care of yourself" she said sternly "Amelia needs you right now. She can't loose you right now." She added with a sadness in her eyes.

 _What would Derek do? I wish he was here._

Meredith was ripped from her memories by Owen's voice. "I'm so sorry. She shouldn't loose another man in her life." After a moment he looked strait at Meredith "How'd you know where to find me?"

"Was just a feeling." She responded with a little smile. She knew that back in the day Owen used to go there when he needed space. He'd taken Cristina down there sometimes. "Promise you rest and take care of yourself, alright?" She asked. "I'm gonna go check on Amelia again."

Owen nodded weakly as she got up and left the room. She was glad that he was doing ok, but she still didn't know who Ryan was. There was just one person that she could think of to help her solve this. She picked up her phone and dialed the number, not having to wait long for the other person to respond.


	28. Call

She was sitting at her desk at the practice when her phone rang. She picked it up, the caller supring her.

"Meredith?" She asked almost a little surprised.

"Addison? Are you there?" Meredith's voice came through the speaker.

"Yes, hey what's going on?" Addison asked, still a little surprised by the call.

"Addison listen…" Meredith said. There was a brief moment of silence. "Amelia was in an accident."

"Oh god…" was all that Addison was able to say "is she… is she okay?" She asked, trying to keep her voice steady. This couldn't be happening. There couldn't be another thing happening to Amelia.

"She was admitted a few days ago with a head lac and an intracranial bleed. She's been recovering for the past few days, yesterday she stared to talk again." Meredith explained.

"What happend?" Addison asked shocked.

"We don't know. Owen found her in her appartment. If he had been there any later…" Meredith couldn't finish the sentence.

"I'm booking the first flight for tomorrow!" Addison said, already pulling up websites on her computer.

"Actually…" Meredith interjected "she's asking for someone and I thought you might be able to tell me who he is."

"Okay." Addison answered.

 _She must be asking for Sheldon or Cooper, maybe Jake?_

Addison thought to herself but what she heard next left her speechless.

"Do you know who Ryan is? I thought it might be someone from her time in LA?" Meredith explained. There was complete silence.

"Addison? Are you still there?" She heard coming from the speaker.

Addison's thoughts were racing. This couldn't be happening.

"You… you don't know?" She asked, her voice shaking.

"Addison what is it? Who is he?" Meredith asked. Addison could hear the growing concern in her voice. She didn't know how to break these news to her.

"He was her fiancé." Addison said in a dejected voice.

"Wait I thought her fiancé's name was James?" Meredith wondered.

"Before him." Addison said, not knowing how to explain this.

"She was engaged before?" Meredith asked confused.

"Meredith he died. They where taking drugs together and one morning she woke up next to him and he was dead. He had ODed and aspirated on his vomit. Afterwards Amelia went to rehab." Addison's voice was carrying a profound sadness, thinking back to that time. The line went silent again.

"I didn't know…" Meredith breathed quietly "I just thought she was a little confused… she was talking about babies and unicorns."

Addison gasped. This couldn't be, right? It couldn't be that Meredith didn't know about this.

"Addison what is it?" Meredith's concerned voice sounded from the speaker.

There was silence.

"We should talk about this in person when I land tomorrow." Addison tried to avoid it. She couldn't tell Meredith this over the phone. "Meredith I've got to go, I will be there first thing tomorrow okay?" She reasured, trying to hide the pain and fear in her voice.

"Alright. I'm sure Amelia will be very excited to see you." Meredith answered, apparently still shocked by the news she'd just received.

Addison hung up, the phone slowly sinking to her desk. She didn't know how she was going to break these news to Meredith.

Had Derek known? Did Owen know? Did anyone know?

This couldn't be true. This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be another Shepherd tragedy.

 **Editors note: Okay I did it. I brought Addie back. I just had to. I really love the connection she has with Amelia. Let me know what you think. :)**


End file.
